really funny that every website is in an arms race to make itself as bad as possible and immediately someone makes a firefox extension to fix it

oooh fun choices! blazes are a bit hard, mainly because i’m on the fence about whether i prefer them as natural creatures or artificial creations of whoever built the nether fortresses. either way, i’d define them as a magical entity, which to me are in an entirely different taxonomical domain to regular cell-based life. if they are naturally occurring, i like to throw around the idea that they’re extinct in the wild but were bred in captivity [whether the blazes we know are the same ones that existed in the wider nether or a domesticated form is a whole other point of consideration] and have just kinda spilled out into the nether fortresses now that whoever built them is gone

while that might not have been quite what you were hoping for, i do have some properly speculative biology related ideas about ghasts!

most of a ghast’s body is empty space! they’re basically just a big flight membrane stretched over a cartilage skeleton, like so:

there are several benefits to this hollow structure. first, it helps them to stay cool in the intense heat of the nether, as air can blow through and ventilate its body. secondly, it’s how they fly! they catch wind in their bodies and, because they’re so light for their size, this slows their descent to a crawl and lets them steer themselves around like a kite, catching updrafts as they go and precisely manipulating the air in their bodies to stay airborne effectively forever. the tradeoff is that they’re so specialised for gliding that they can’t afford to stop - a grounded ghast is as good as dead, as they have no means of getting back in the air by themselves.

as a side note, the nether’s extreme temperatures and cavelike structure make its atmospheric conditions pretty wild, so a ghast in the overworld or end will have significantly more trouble keeping itself off the ground. in general most nether mobs don’t take well to the pressure and temperature changes in other dimensions, and vice versa, hence why there’s very little overlap in each ecosystem despite an apparent history of portals being used

and unrelated, but ghasts ‘crying’ is actually how they keep cool! that minimalist body structure doesn’t leave much room for internal thermoregulation, so the aforementioned air ventilation and constant stream of tears have to pick up the slack. [if we’re being pedantic it’s technically sweating rather than crying, but nobody wants to drink a potion with 'ghast sweat’ in it.] what little moisture is in the air they pick up is collected by some weird organ or other and recycled constantly into tears. since water is so scarce in the nether i’m guessing its native species evolved not to need it at all, so flushing all the moisture they collect right back out is no problem for the ghast.

me when i see a honkin pair

An officially licensed 2015 Cat Toad plush has a removable hood.

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oh yeah babey swag!! since you didn’t specify a mob i am going to talk about creepers since i have the most stuff for them and everyone loves creepers. aw man

my guess [and one that i think is pretty agreed upon in minecraft biology headcanons] is that creepers are more akin to sentient plants or fungi than animals! they reproduce asexually by producing spores when they reach maturity, which they spread across a large area by exploding. they specifically seek out threats like players to explode near because if the force of an explosion kills or seriously injures a possible predator, the baby creepers [called creeplets] will have a safer head start

before they’re mature and ready to explode creepers aren’t as hostile, but they’re incredibly territorial and hiss the same way they do before exploding as a threat display. while some creepers are solitary, the majority form packs [or rustles, as they’re called] as creeplets with any other creepers whose spores landed and matured close by. typically a rustle of creepers will begin as a fairly large congregation of up to a few dozen juveniles, then gradually decrease in number as members either are killed by outside factors or explode pre-maturity to ensure the safety of its group, until the small handful remaining are ready to reproduce and go their separate ways so as not to accidentally kill each other in the ensuing explosions

incidentally, it may be possible to ‘tame’ a creeper by raising it from babyhood so that it sees you as a member of its rustle and thus not a threat. it’ll still want to explode when it grows up and starts producing spores, though, so you’re getting a hole in your backyard either way.

it’s a little hard to pin down what a creeper would eat - they live in caves and seem nocturnal so they can’t solely photosynthesise, their only actual method of attacking kills them so they’d be poor hunters, and they don’t seem to have any teeth to chew plants with. the most likely options i can think of are that they’re either insectivores, maybe using their weird shape to more effectively go after subterranean bugs, or scavengers who subsist on carrion and small fruits and the like. or perhaps they absorb nutrients from dead things with some kind of root system? that’d be another good reason for a reproducing creeper to want to kill someone in the process. much to think about!

i’ve scribbled a diagram of my speculative creeper life cycle but i think it might be trypophobia adjacent, so it’s under this here cut to be safe

my favorite midi sound in the world

Ok well first off there's cicada. He maps cave systems and can hold so much fucking trauma. He starts off as really stern and unforgiving, but has a soft spot for his creator dr Samantha. He only gets to see her like, super rarely though, and instead has to deal with her son whom he doesn't get along with.

Anyways, eventually he breaks down and is retired, but isn't scrapped. Instead he gets to spend time with his creator, and his lover hearth, and essentially gets robo therapy to work through his mounds of issues.

And after a lot of struggles he is brought out of retirement and is upgraded to work in the rainforest instead alongside humans. It's a big change, but it is the fulfillment of his dreams. So cicada gets a happy ending and such.

u know when ur friendly w a mutual but u don’t know their name. like heyyy…you💗

honk mimimimimi

i tucked him in 😊

wtf i know nothing abt megaman but apparently cutman isnt always a bad guy??? and just decides to be evil sometimes?? like, wtf do cutman fans just play the games and wait to see which of these happens bc. my fiancé was like “yeah hes only evil if wiley tells him to be evil” like,  does megaman just have to pray cutman isnt on some identity crisis shit when they meet